HABITS OF A TRANSFORMING LOVE (Part 2)
God’s Invitation to Grace ❧ Part 56
Romans 12:14-16 ❧ Pastor, Dr. John Denney
One of the transforming marks of a genuine follower of Christ is the radical realization and resolved conviction I am utterly powerless to live the Christian life in my own strength. Jesus made this indelibly clear when He said, Apart from Me you can do nothing (John 15:5, NAS). The absoluteness and finality of the statement is staggering, writes J. Oswald Sanders. Jesus did not say apart from Him we could do very little. He said apart from Him we could do nothing. The reality is, there are many of us who are still trying to live out our Christian ideals relying on our own wit and strength. Jesus said you can’t do it. It will never work. Not only will your life be unproductive, but it will also dry up and wither away.
I once knew a lady who’d only recently become a Christian. She was like a great sponge; she wanted to know everything she needed to know and do everything she needed to do to please God. Her newfound freedom and joy in knowing Christ soon turned into a heavy ball and chain. In complete exhaustion, she said to me, “John, I can’t do it! I can’t live the Christian life! It’s just too much!” “You’re absolutely right,”I said. The shock on her face looked like a 6.0 earthquake had just struck it! I explained to her God never meant for us to live the Christian life in our own power. It is only by Jesus’ power within us are we able to take even a single breath in our new life in Christ. The life God has called believers to is a supernatural life – a life empowered solely and completely by God. When Jesus said apart from Him, we can do nothing, that’s exactly what He meant!
Some of you are exactly where that lady was at – trying to live the Christian life in your own strength. Your relationship with God is as fatiguing as it is unfulfilling. Your relationship with others is marked more by frustration and failure than by harmony and joy. If you think you’re alone, you’re not. You’re in good company. Others may not say much, but they are feeling the same thing. If there was anyone who understood the strain and fatigue of trying to live for God in his own strength, it was the Apostle Paul. His words in Philippians 4:13 come to mind: I can do all things through Him who strengthens me(Philippians 4:13). The transformed life God has called us to live in Christ is nothing short of a supernatural one. And without doubt, the greatest evidence of God’s supernatural work within is us is our ability to love others. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another(John 13:35).
We need to keep this in mind when we come to Romans 12. The next number of verses will not make any sense to us, nor will they be possible to live out, until we come to the realization the Christian life is a supernatural life. Read Romans 12:14-16, NAS.
On the whole, Paul is showing us how we’re to respond with God’s love toward other believers who may or may not be acting in the same love toward us. In Paul’s many years of pastoring and dealing with people, he was well aware that every church, whether large, medium, or small, has differing levels of maturity among its people. Some people you meet in church are very mature, very godly in their conduct. After years of walking with the Lord their lives have been transformed by God’s great love and grace. Their lives exude the fragrance of Christ’s winsome grace. You hear it in their words. You see it in their actions. You sense it in their attitudes. God’s presence shines in their lives.
The same, however, is not so true with others. They may be genuine believers, but they are still toddlers or teenagers in their faith. They’re somewhere between the terrible twos and the trying teens. When they don’t get their way, they have a throw a tantrum or have a meltdown. In a fit of unconsolable crying, they start rolling on the floor kicking their legs and pounding their fists. They don’t do this literally of course, but they do it emotionally. I’ve seen them! It was this kind of immaturity Paul confronted with the Corinthians. Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? (1 Corinthians 3:1-3, NLT).
What are the habits of God’s transforming love He is calling us to develop?
- Be constructive. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (Romans
12:14, NAS). You would think that Paul would not have to say it, but he does. Sometimes our worst hurts don’t come from outside of the church, but from within. There will be those in the church who will operate by the flesh making life miserable those around them. Paul says, Bless them! Ha! How do you bless someone you want to punch their lights out?
The word “bless” literally means “speak well of.” When somebody criticizes and maligns you, you are to speak well of them. It’s the exact opposite of our natural inclination. My inclination is to criticize and treat them the way they treated me. If somebody strikes out at you your natural inclination is to strike back.
I heard about three churches on the same street corner. A Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist. During a hot summer’s evening they all had their doors and windows open and they were trying to out sing to each other. The Baptists were singing, “Will There Be Any Stars in My Crown?” The Presbyterians were singing, “No, Not One. No, Not One.” And the Methodists were singing, “Oh, That Will Be Glory for Me.”
Paul is saying don’t get involved in backbiting. God has not given us a ministry of tearing each other down but building each other up. You can bless people by the way you talk about them. When somebody ridicules you and puts you down, you speak well of them. George Washing Carver said, I will never allow another man to belittle my soul by making me hate him. I can’t control what you say about me, but I can control what I think and say about you. When somebody criticizes you in the church, don’t go around bad mouthing that person back. Instead, tell the Lord about it and ask Him to give you the strength to bless them, to speak well of them in return.
- Be sympathetic . Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep (Romans
12:15). Simply put, when others are happy, be happy with them. Be understanding of where others are at. Jesus did that. Celebrate with those who are rejoicing. Sometimes that’s not easy. Someone gets a raise or a promotion working in the same place you work and they’re happy, but you’re not. Envy creeps in. Others seem to experience good things in their lives that you don’t. Share their joy. Don’t let envy or resentment settle in.
Weep with those who weep. I never felt so alone and isolated from the rest of the world then when I was in basic training with the military. One consolation for me was that a good friend of mine whom I had grown up with was in the same unit as me. We were totally cut off from family, the world, everything we’d previously known. One evening we returned to the barracks and my friend received news that his uncle had died. He wasn’t allowed to call his family or leave to be with them. The feeling of being in prison and cut off from family shattered him. He wept with tears of a broken heart. All I could do was weep with him. Ask God to help you to be sympathetic to those around you. It means more than you have any idea. An old Swedish proverb says: Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. Be sympathetic with others.
- Be impartial. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation (Romans 12:16). Favoritism and pride will
destroy a loving church. Being impartial means not playing favorites, not being prejudiced. Treat everybody with respect. Associate with the lowly (ταπεινός – having a low or humble status). Don’t think you’re too good to invest your time and friendship with someone of a lesser social rank than you. Who really cares what others may think? Doesn’t it matter more what God thinks? Jesus was accused of socializing those who were considered poor, even undesirable. But did He care what others thought? No! The Bible says God lifts the poor from the dust and the needy from the garbage dump. He sets them among princes, even the princes of his own people! (Psalm 113:7-8, NLT).
Paul follows this with: Do not be wise in your own estimation. We are all at different levels economically, chronologically, and educationally. But a greater fact remains, we are all one in the family of Christ. That’s what counts.
I love the true story about a young American diplomat who found himself at a banquet seated next to a Chinese diplomat. Not knowing what to say to a Chinese person, the young man pointed to the first course and asked, “Likee soupee?” The Chinese diplomat simply smiled and nodded. Later, the Chinese diplomat and statesman, Wellington Koo, was called on to speak. He delivered an eloquent message in flawless English. As he sat down to the sound of applause, he turned to the young American and said, “Likee speechee?” Isn’t that great!? Someone has said: Prejudice, is a great time-saver…. It allows one to form opinions without having to know the facts. Be impartial.
God never commands us to do something where He doesn’t provide the ability to do it as well. We all have people we’ve had to deal with that we struggle to love, struggle to keep from boiling over in our verbal criticisms, struggle let go of our old ways. Jesus tells us plainly, apart from Him we can do nothing. You can’t love others the way God has called you in your own strength. You need God’s inexhaustible unending strength that can be found in Christ alone. Let me close with this.
A large sum of money was given to Rowland Hill to dispense to a poor pastor. Thinking that the amount was too much to send all at once, Hill forwarded just a portion along with a note that said simply, “More to follow.” In a few days the man received another envelope containing the same amount and with the same message, “More to follow.” At regular intervals, there came a third, and a fourth. In fact, they continued, along with those cheering words, until the entire sum had been received.
C. H. Spurgeon used this story to illustrate that the good things we receive from God always come with the same prospect of more to follow. He said: “When God forgives our sins, there’s more forgiveness to follow. He justifies us in the righteousness of Christ, but there’s more to follow. He adopts us into His family, but there’s more to follow. He prepares us for heaven, but there’s more to follow. He gives us grace, but there’s more to follow. He helps us to old age, but there’s still more to follow.” Spurgeon concluded, “Even when we arrive in the world to come, there will still be more to follow.”
